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In a life this ordinary there are no doubts. I could only be described as handsome by the blind. I could only be described as musical by the tone deaf. In stature, only midgets look up to me. My whole life has been spent being an ordinary bloke. So what has happened to change that? She has happened. She it is that has cast doubts on my ordinariness. The she in question is Mary Thornton. I met her in my local supermarket when I was spending my meagre budget on one of life’s luxuries, food. At my time of life one has few luxuries, and food was one of them. I came around the corner pushing my trolley when I bumped into her, literally. ‘I’m sorry, they should fit these things with brakes, along with wheels that point in the right direction. Are you all right? I haven’t broken anything, have I?’ ‘No, I’m okay. I was meaning to hang a left here but this damn thing took it into its head to turn right. I think that we can state in our insurance claims that it was the fault of these.’ And I. How did she know?" I sheepishly looked away and Sarah sat up to swat me playfully over the top of the head. "I knew you'd have something to do with it." Well, she came to see me as she was worried about me and it sort of came out. She was worried after the party."Sarah grinned. "Yeah, our party. Disaster that was. Kev was a bit of a cock to you and I let him and that didn't help. Donna was a bitch. Ray did nothing about her. You reacted to everyone's goading. Kev helped himself to spirits and got pissed. As did Ray and Donna, I didn't stop them. Kev and I had sex all over the place on Saturday. As did Ray and Donna. Parents not amused and it was just like when I was arrested." You were arrested?" I asked her immediately, shocked at her confession. I had never even considered it, and I didn't know anyone who had been arrested before, at least not at sixteen.Sarah giggled. "Oh yeah, I didn't tell you. I was fourteen. Mum and Dad went loopy." I bet they did" I replied instinctively; I.
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